22.01.19

Black Dog Dream

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22.07.19

I just took a nap and set an alarm for 15 minutes, and had a really horrible dream. I was with Pere and some others in Sainsbury’s by the tills. We were all looking at some baby snails that I had brought in with some bigger snails. Someone who looked like my IRL friend’s mum (who is a bitch and I hate her) started having a go about the snails so I put all the babies on my hand and took them outside before going back to get the bigger ones.

When I came back outside, Pere and the mum followed me outside. I put the bigger snails in Gwalchgwyn’s (my pet Giant African Land Snail) tank which was now on the patch of grass I had left the babies. Two of the bigger snails were wrapped around each other and I was like “Oh cool, they’re mating”, and the mum said “I work in hygiene I don’t want to hear that.” So I tried to save myself and said “It’s not dirty, they reproduce asexually too.” Then I went to put the lid on the tank but realised there were a few flies in there so I swatted them away which made me realise there were flies crawling all over the soil. I tried swatting those away too and they wouldn’t leave for ages but then a big swarm of them flew off and I was like “Oh thank god.”

I lifted the tank up and saw that pretty much all of the soil, even at the bottom, was just crawling with flies and I screamed and dropped the tank. Then I noticed Gwalchgwyn was still in the tank. I had an image of picking him up and looking in his shell to see that flies had eaten him. I reached in and swarms of flies crawled up my arm,I picked up Gwalchgwyn and was about to turn him around to see inside his shell and I woke up.

10.04.19

Had a whack dream. Me and three friends (don’t know who they are so some nice dreamworld friends) started to realise that there was nobody about, everyone seemed to disappear and then one of my friends was randomly given this weird limousine van. We went out in it and it turned out it could fly and we were like woah. We started to suspect some government type shit was going on and that’s why people were disappearing so we left the house we had been living in so we could hide from the government. The friend who had the limo van was NOT very good at controlling the flying and at one point we all go out the van and the girl we were with asked if she could try driving it instead. She drove it down the road but it was dark and we lost sight of her and the van quickly. We waited for a while but she didn’t come back.

We only had our backpacks with us, a lot of our stuff had been left in the van so we weren’t ready to survive outside. We went and stood by a nearby stone wall and a few hours later some cars and bikes pulled up. We realised they were government agents. Then we saw our friend who had driven off, she said she got caught because the van was well known to be a flying van and it was illegal. She went on to say that she had been taken to this government hospital/camp place. We were all made to get into a bus with blacked out windows and we were taken to this place.

On the bus I turned to my friend and asked “ok, what happened to the van, what happened to our stuff, our suitcases?” She was like “Oh yeah, they’re in the storage room, you can go and get them but probably not tonight.” And I was like “Ok but I had some questionable things in there are they gonna arrest me or something?” I went on to explain that I had two daggers and a loaded pistol in my case. She said that if it was for self defense then it was fine and they would give them back just without any bullets and I was like hmmm ok.

When we got to the place it was literally like a kid’s hospital waiting room but all the walls were kinda grimy and it seemed weirdly empty even though there were lots of tables and chairs around. I don’t remember much after this except everyone seemed surprisingly chill being there. I had a huge panic attack in the corner, fully sobbing and hyperventilating, because it felt wrong and I didn’t want to be in this weird, liminal government facility. All my friends and the government staff ignored me and then I woke up with the WORST migraine I’ve ever had.

06.12.19

Fell asleep on my front and had a dream that I threw myself into bed but misjudged it and landed on my face, my glasses snapped in half down the bridge and one side jammed into my eye really badly. My glasses were like crumbling at the arms and completely destroyed. I went into the corridor of the flat and called for help. I was really really upset. The only people who came out of their rooms were Ben, Emily, Imi and Andrew but they all started laughing at me, they thought it was hilarious. I went back into my room, even more upset now, and they followed me and asked how I did it. I didn’t want to tell them I was being an idiot in my room so I just told them I tripped and fell, they laughed even more. I started having a full sobbing breakdown and then I realised I couldn't see out of the eye that glasses had jammed into so I started screaming that I couldn’t see and I needed to go to the hospital. Then I got even more upset because I realised I couldn’t afford to replace my glasses and I needed them. My flat mates just kept ignoring me, laughing, not taking me seriously and making jokes. Eventually, Ben was like “yeah ok we’ll take you.”

In the hospital there was this bitch of a doctor who was doing an eye test thing and she didn’t set the machine up properly. My chin wasn’t resting on the chin rest, the chair was set too high and this doctor was just taking the piss out of me. Afterwards, she took me to like this?? Interview chamber kinda thing where she and another nurse were. They started taking the piss and I said I was going to take legal action, the nurse said she was going to give out my address to someone and I said I’d hold that against them for breach of privacy and they were all mockingly like “oooh look at you”. None of the flat did anything, they just stood in the background and watched.

I left the hospital by myself and jumped off a bridge. Suddenly I was flying through the night sky but there was like trippy rainbow shit going on out of the corners of my eyes. Everything felt INSANELY real. I could hear and feel the wind blowing past my ears and through my hair and it didn’t feel like a dream at all. I started to notice I was drifting into that weird state I get into before sleep paralysis so I told myself to wake up and suddenly I was at some fancy house and Talis and his partner James were there.

At the house there were two women with a baby and the baby had a bunch of teddy bears and tug rugs that all had names. The baby kept losing the teddies and crawling off and going missing. It felt like ages of learning all the names of the teddies and trying to keep the baby in eyesight. The back garden was super similar to my nan’s old garden and there was another kid, probably about 5 who kept chasing after me for some reason. I was really scared and kept trying to run away from him and he kept trying to throw rocks at me. I tried to escape but he ran after me and started to throw knives at me with one of them nearly hitting me.

Suddenly some dude was there with the baby and started going through all the names of the teddies again, then he started to strap the baby into its car seat. The two women who seemed to live in the house got into the front of the car. I went back into the house and I was still sad about everything that had happened at the flat, hospital and this house. Talis was in the kitchen washing dishes and he looked really really sad. James was sat at the table rolling a cigarette and getting ready to get into the car too. I asked to join him and Talis just said really sadly “But I missed you.” Like he was sad I was going with James while he was busy, I felt really bad. I started talking to James again and he was the only one who showed any sort of sympathy but it was still kinda just a “Aww that sucks yeah” then I woke up and felt really depressed.

Everything in the dream had felt like it was happening in real-time, it literally felt like HOURS had passed. Even though I knew I was dreaming I also half believed it too because it all felt so real. I checked my phone after waking up and only 15 minutes had passed from when I last checked my phone before falling asleep.